Thick Skin

It takes thick skin to be a writer; I don’t have thick skin. It makes me doubt myself – my hearing – that He would ask me to do something He knows will expose me to criticism, accusation. I bruise easily, scrape quickly and wound deeply when struck with subtle rejections, quick judgment, aloof implication – abrasive forces that tempt me more to quit forging than to keep marching. While others have the ability to turn the coals of adversity into fires of purpose, I tend to hoard them, give them names, and stack them in the doorway of my dwelling, using them as an excuse not to re-enter the world into which I’ve been called.

I guess people assume if you’re willing to air your past secrets, share the difficult parts, the ugly places where God is still working to change you, or take a chance by doing things unconventionally, you’re able to accept their thoughts on the matter. I should be able to, but I’m not. I’m sensitive and afraid. I’m not strong. Every word pounded out is a piece of my soul – a place He has exposed and asked me to work on.

So why do I keep on? Because I am fully convinced that someone somewhere needs my words, my story. It’s not about me. He didn’t heal me so I could keep it to myself – He did it so I could tell someone else, give them the hope of His grace.

The same is true for you. He didn’t bring you to this place only for you. He has a purpose  – people prepared to hear your words. We cannot let the criticism or harsh opinions of others keep us from sharing His light in the darkness. Yes, I’m scared; yes, I feel inferior. But, feeling is not fact. In truth, I’m a child of the Most High, and greater is He who is in me than He who is in the world.

I’m doing it afraid – will you join me?

You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. – Mary Manin Morrissey

There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid. – Frederick W. Cropp

I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear. – Rosa Parks

Feed your fears and your faith will starve. Feed your faith and your fears will. – Max Lucado

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)