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Stephani Cochran

Indulge Me

Perhaps the slapping of the rain against the window as I sit in the darkened den has me feeling a little sentimental. I have no other explanation for why I'm creating a post today. I appreciate you indulging my need to just write spontaneously and off the cuff.   I was a blogger for about 5 years, and as you can see I've taken a 9 month hiatus.  In the beginning it was intentional as I was building a new website.  It's built, but I just have not been ready to write again, so it sits there waiting in the wings until I'm ready to write and share photos.  Oh, and speaking of photography, I've picked up my camera only once in these last 9 months, and that was to shoot a graduation event in May.  The photos came out pretty good for as rusty as I had gotten. Recently, I look at old photos that I've taken, and I literally get butterflies in my tummy, butterflies because I find them surprisingly good, because I miss my photo snapping days, and because I'm afraid of losing that talent all together.   I'm not completely sure where the last 9 months have gone.  Care-giving has been a huge part of it.  For those that followed me in the past, you may remember me speaking often of my parents. Dad is still living in the late stages of Alzheimer's and Mom just moved to nursing care four doors down from Dad.  Parkinson's Disease has advanced to the point where she needs that additional care.  Oddly enough, fitness has been a big consumer of my time this year, a positive one.  I've found my way back into the gym, a place I used to practically live but had wandered away from.  I'm back in the weight room almost daily now.  It's been a respite after a long day at work, and I've been amazed at what this 48 year old body has been able to accomplish.  I'm stronger, and lifting heavier than I did in my twenties and thirties.  I truly believe in the concept that the fountain of youth can be found in the weight room, and in the kitchen.  The combination of good nutrition and resistance training will transform you at any age. As hectic and stressful as this year has been, God has been faithful.  He is growing me and preparing me. He's always preparing me.  I realize now, that he always will be.  The final event won't occur in this lifetime. Living in a place of anticipation instead of a place of completion is a place I'm learning to get used to. Oswald Chamber says, "You are expecting God to tell you to do a big thing, and all He is telling you to do is to 'come.'"    Blogging has been calling my name again, and even more so today as I visited a few of my friends online that I hadn't visited in months.  I feel a sense of urgency to dust off my camera, and my keyboard, and prepare my new site for launch.  This time, I will do it for the Lord, for myself, and for the friends who want to be a part of the journey.  The pressure that social media puts on a blogger left me disillusioned and in a place where blogging was no longer a joyful experience.  I think I've regained perspective and am no longer intimidated by the media monster.  It takes over, only if we let it.  My purpose, and the purpose of my photography and writing, has to be Christ driven and nothing else.   I don't know if I will post here again before the end of the year.  But maybe, in 2015 I'll be visiting you from a new website.   May God bless you and keep you, and make his face to shine upon you in the days ahead. Living amazed and with expectation, Stephani P.S. I just realized after being away from my blog so long that it had been hacked somehow.  I had to revert some posts back to draft and remove my blog design to get it fixed.  Yuck!  Definitely motivation to get moving on the new site.