When Leaders Mess Up

Christopher Smith — Thu, 24 May 2012 11:00:03 +0000

"Is it true that you once fell asleep during one of your own lectures?"

The professor’s stunned expression revealed that he hadn’t expected anything like this when he called on the student. The rest of us sat there stunned, too, finding it incredible that anyone would ask such a thing in the middle of class. But we also felt a little guilty, because we’d heard the rumors and speculated if they could be true. Now, finally, someone had dared to ask.

The student sat there with a triumphant smirk on his face as the professor struggled with embarrassment at the front of the room.

"I don’t see what this has to do with what we’ve been talking about," he began, "but since you asked, I’ll tell you what happened." The professor then explained that the school’s administration had asked him to represent them at a conference. He agreed to go if it wouldn’t interfere with his teaching. The school arranged for him to come back late at night after the conference so he could still give his lectures the next morning. Since he was an older gentleman, the travel to and from the conference, along with his busy schedule, took a lot out of him, particularly when he had to go in for early classes the next day.

"At one point that morning," he admitted, "I felt as if I’d lost my place in my notes, and when I looked up, the whole class was staring at me. So it is possible that I did fall asleep."

Now we felt even guiltier. We’d been having a bit of fun privately at this man’s expense, suggesting that his lectures were so boring they even put him to sleep, but now we’d discovered that it was his dedication to teaching students like us that had caused him this embarrassment.

I glanced over at the student who’d asked the question. His smirk had vanished. I was amazed by this student’s audacity, but now I was even more amazed by the professor’s graciousness and humility. Without becoming defensive or hostile, he had freely admitted something that could have cost him our respect. Instead, his explanation made us appreciate his dedication to the school and to all of us even more.

When an embarrassing thing happens to a leader, it isn't necessary to deny it or try to cover it up. Instead, the leader has an opportunity to acknowledge and explain it in a way that inspires renewed respect and loyalty.

Many in the Corinthian church were challenging the Apostle Paul’s authority and credentials. At their insistence, he defended his leadership and described his qualifications. But he also related an experience that he said showed his weakness, explaining how he once escaped from Damascus by being lowered in a basket out a window in the city wall. Not a very bold or dignified exit. But Paul wanted his followers to respect him not as someone supposedly superhuman, but as an ordinary person they could have confidence in because of his openness, honesty, and dedication.

Leaders: Do you try to keep your followers from finding out about embarrassing things that show your human flaws?

Followers: Do you have less confidence in your leaders when human frailty becomes apparent? Or will you respect them even more?

Image by Tim Miller. Post by Chris Smith　

Author Name:

Christopher Smith

Sleeping Alone

loreferguson — Thu, 24 May 2012 12:00:03 +0000

I wake slowly, facedown, stretching my legs, cupping my toes over the end of the bed, feeling my calf muscles pull and retract. My head is lying flat, on 400 thread count white sheets. I am facing left, the breeze from my open window setting across my face, the window's linen blind pulsing steadily in the same breeze.

I spread my right arm out feeling the empty space in my bed. My heart sinks.

There has never been anyone in this space, but I still feel the void all the same. My bed has never been shared; I have never been cuddled too tightly, or felt the aching space of an evening argument that keeps two hearts and bodies apart. I have never had to fight anyone for the covers and when I am cold, I am cold alone.

I stretch out my left arm toward the window, rest my hand on the screen. My heart breaks a little more every day. It breaks itself and heals itself, and it does it all under the watchful, loving eye of God, so I am not alone, though I feel alone.

I used to worry I would not be married by 24. Then I worried I would not be married by 29. Now I worry I will never come to terms with always being alone. It is a hard thing to share one's bed with no one, and it is a hard thing to wake every morning feeling more undesirable than the night before.

Friends think they are consoling when they say marriage is hard work (who among us thinks it is not?) or when they complain that she steals all the covers or he snores or she likes to cuddle and he only likes sex. They think this is consoling.

But it is not.

Because the night comes slowly, every blessed day, like the poet Richard Wilbur said; but morning comes quickly and I spread my arm across this empty space feeling aloneness more than ever before.

Fabs Harford wrote about Fasting from Intimacy, and this resonates in me because there is no monster inside of me more ravenous than the one who craves intimacy. I lean across the table in loud restaurants and ask hard questions. I hug tightly without discretion or discrimination. I touch the hands and shoulders of people I love, and sometimes barely know. I lean in. I do this because I am starving for intimacy and I am unafraid of that monster. I know he can kill me. But I know I will starve without his hunger.

Singleness is a beautiful thing and when I take account of the past decade I see a faithfulness to its beauty in my life in a way that only comes from grace, but I also see a succession of tiny funerals every step of the way. A cemetery full of them. Adventures I have had alone. Mornings I have woken alone. Moments I have reveled in alone. Each one bringing joy in its experience and mourning in its completion.

Life is meant to be shared and marriage is not the only way to share life, I know this, but the mystery of two flesh becoming one is a mingling that cannot be known by me, with my bed all to myself, 400 thread count sheets, open window, and quiet morning. And I mourn this.

Tim Keller preached a sermon called Jesus, Lord of the Wine, and he teaches how Christ is the Lord of the wedding feast, how His first miracle was in a wedding, turning water into wine and how this is a sign to us that He is for our joy. And not just our eventual joy, as the old Calvinists would have us believe, but for our present joy, our joy here on earth, in empty beds, empty hearts, and single flesh.

I meditate on this morning before I break my night's fast.

The hunger in my belly a reminder that there is a feast before me, whether it is the feast I envision for my life or not, it is a feast that brings joy somehow and in some way. And there are mornings when it will be hard, like this one. There will be nights when my fast from intimacy is painful and I shake my fist at God, or ignore Him altogether.

But He is for my joy and joy is there too, in the song of birds outside my window, the Roman blind shivering in the breeze, and the 400 thread count sheets, covers all to myself. There is joy there—a small, but ebbing joy.

Religion + Life with Elaine H. Ecklund, Part 5: International Attitudes

Christine A. Scheller — Thu, 24 May 2012 12:00:05 +0000

In her book Science vs. Religion: What Scientists Really Think, Laity Leadership Institute Senior Fellow Elaine Howard Ecklund focused exclusively on the views of American scientists at elite universities. Now, with a grant from the Templeton World Charity Foundation, Ecklund will spend the next three years exploring how scientists view religion and how religion influences scientists in different national and cultural contexts. She says her Religion Among Scientists in International Context study is the first of its kind, and she’ll work on it in conjunction with two colleagues, Kirstin Matthews and Steven Lewis.

"With seemingly constant developments in the areas of science and religion, these two subjects have taken an important role on the global stage," Ecklund said. "Our team can think of no better way to discover how the international science community negotiates religion than to go straight to the source and study scientists themselves."

The notion that science is incompatible with religion and culpable for secularization is a common one, Ecklund explained. It causes tension “on a global scale as scholars argue that religion hinders the progress and acceptance of science in the United States, Europe, and parts of Asia.”

“By investigating the points where scientists object to religion and where they do not, we can begin to understand where places for potential dialogue might lie,” she said. “Thus, even if scientists do not perceive any place for religion or spirituality in their own personal lives or work, it is still important to understand how they approach religion or spirituality as it operates in the broader public, among their colleagues, and among their students and funders.”

She and her team will administer a cross-national survey of 10,000 biologists and physicists at different points in their careers at top universities and research institutes in the United States, United Kingdom, Turkey, Italy, France, and China. They will also conduct follow-up interviews with 600 of these scientists. Ecklund is currently in Europe working on the project and has completed interviews in the United Kingdom and France. She will be traveling to Turkey and Italy later this summer and then back to the UK to conduct more interviews.

“These nations have very different approaches to the relationship between religious and state institutions, different levels of religiosity, and different levels of scientific infrastructure,” said Ecklund. “Through the survey and follow-up interviews, we will determine how scientists in different national contexts understand the relationship of science and religion (and, where relevant, spirituality), and how religion (and spirituality) influence their research agendas, daily interactions with students, and ethical decisions and discussions.”

Her goal is to produce data that has the power to “reshape the secularization debate, create new measures of religion and spirituality, and initiate a new research agenda within the social sciences.” She also hopes to “increase productive dialogue between scientists and religious communities in different national contexts.”

In my work as a journalist, one of my goals is to contribute useful information to public conversations about important issues. I enjoy investigating topics that I don’t know much about and sharing what I discover with readers. So I'm grateful for scholars like Ecklund who provide the resources I need to do more than speculate on issues in my work. And, I’m curious: What do you think productive dialogue between scientists and religious communities would look like?

***

Religion + Life with Elaine H. Ecklund, Part 1

Religion + Life with Elaine H. Ecklund, Part 2: Boundary Pioneers

Religion + Life with Elaine H. Ecklund, Part 3: Myth Busting

Religion + Life with Elaine H. Ecklund, Part 4: Worshiping Science

Image by David Rouhani. Used with permission. Sourced via Flickr. Post by Christine A. Scheller.

Elaine Howard Ecklund is associate professor of sociology and director of graduate studies at Rice University in Houston, Texas. She studies cultural change in the areas of religion, immigration, and science. She is also a scholar at the Baker Institute for Public Policy and director of the Religion and Public Life Program at the Social Sciences Research Institute. Ecklund is author of two books:Science vs. Religion: What Scientists Really Think and Korean American Evangelicals: New Models for Civic Life.

Author Name:

Christine A. Scheller

Community Writing Project: Summer Vacations

CharSingleton — Thu, 24 May 2012 12:00:05 +0000

Though summer doesn't officially begin for nearly a month, in the Midwest where I live, school is ending, the days are getting longer, and the talk around the office is already revolving around summer vacations.

We want to hear about your summer vacation - the one you're planning, the one you took as a youngster, or the year you couldn't take a vacation because you had just started a new job. Put on your flip flops and Hawaiian shirt, grab your laptop and a glass of lemonade, and head out to the front porch to share your story.

But first, stop by Wide Open Spaces for more details. I'm hosting the project there.

Image by Shawn Hoke. Used with permission. Sourced via Flickr. Post by High Calling Content Editor, Charity Singleton.

Author Name:

Charity Singleton

The High Calling of The Avengers

Marcus Goodyear — Wed, 23 May 2012 21:46:45 +0000

Our house celebrated a different kind of advent over the last few months. Every few weeks, our family sat down on the couch to prepare ourselves. We watched Ironman, Thor, the Incredible Hulk, Captain America, even Ironman II.

I’m talking about the advent of The Avengers, of course.

They’ve been here for two weeks, protecting the world’s imagination from the darkness of overly melancholy superheroes who have forgotten what it means to be super. Hulk has been smashing. Captain America has been captaining. And an aircraft carrier has been flying through the sky for the simple reason that a flying aircraft carrier is really cool.

Finally, the movie opened and I took the whole family to a Sunday afternoon matinee. We even got popcorn.

Afterwards in the car, I moralized a bit with the kids because that is a dad’s role. “What did you learn?” I asked.

“Dad!” they said. “It’s just a movie.”

To my credit, I didn’t preach. I didn’t talk about God’s Avengers in Numbers 31 when Moses takes on the role of Nick Fury (probably without the trench coat). I didn’t talk about the persistent widow in Luke 18 who nags a judge into being her own personal Avenger. I didn’t even mention Romans 13, where Paul says the leaders of our governments are God’s Avengers. That would have been a little heavy for elementary school kids.

I didn't even talk about Bill Peels's High Calling article on heroes and leadership or Phil Zimbardo's TED talk on the heroic imagination or Daniel Boorstin's comparison between heroes and celebrities.

Instead, I let my kids guide the conversation. My daughter decided the movie was about teamwork.

“They all came together to do the right thing,” my kids decided. “Some of them even sacrificed themselves for others.”

At that point, the movie became a personality test. Which character on the Avenger team do you most identify with? My daughter loves the Hulk. My son wants to be a LEGO engineer and identified closely with the mechanical wonders of Ironman. My wife is already planning her Black Widow costume for our church’s big Halloween party.

Me? I’m a disciple of Joss Whedon. That man knows how to tell a story. He’s so good at it, in fact, that we don’t even recognize the difficulty of what he has done. He balances an incredible team of characters, somehow giving each a sense of depth and purpose and growth. Most importantly, he knows that we need heroes.

As Joss Whedon said at SXSW recently, “I’m not ready to be post-modern about superheroes yet. I want to see these people kick butt.”

So he gives us a team of isolated people who come together to be something more than the sum of their individual parts. They have bright costumes, and they fight in the daylight. It may seem old fashioned, but with “everything that's happening [in the world today]… people might just need a little old fashioned.” That’s what Agent Phil Coulson tells Captain America, and my heart swelled to hear him say it.

The Captain is my favorite by the way. He’s noble and courageous and inspiring to those around him. I’m a long way from captain of anything, much less an entire lost era of one country’s glory.

But I can dream. And heroes help me dream.

Image is a free download from The Avengers site for use as a Facebook Cover.

Author Name:

Marcus Goodyear

Books: Small Things With Great Love by Margot Starbuck

lauraboggess — Mon, 21 May 2012 10:00:04 +0000

“I’ve been reading this book,” I begin, and I look up just in time to catch them throw each other one of those looks. You know, one of those Oh, no, here we go again looks.

I continue anyway.

“I’ve been reading this book called Small Things with Great Love and it’s about doing a better job of loving others. You know, loving a world in need. Giving more of ourselves.”

They are shoveling food in the mouth, cutting into the pork chops their dad just pulled off the grill.

“Small Things with Great Love, huh? What does that even mean?”

He is talking with his mouth full and I am feeling my lack as a parent.

“It’s from something Mother Teresa said,” I say. “She said, ‘We cannot do great things, only small things with great love’.”

My two children stare at me blankly. Their father is stone-faced.

“Well, anyway. The woman who wrote this book does something neat with her family. Once a week they give up their usual meal and have a simple one of rice and beans. To remember the poor.”

Knives and forks suddenly stop clanking on plates and three pairs of eyes bore into me.

I clear my throat.

“Rice and beans. Because that’s sometimes the only thing available to eat for most of the world’s poor. I thought maybe we might try something like that. Just once a week.”

“But I like meat!”

“Don’t you think most people would rather have meat if they could? That’s the point.”

They are not very open to my idea and to avoid a dinner table mutiny I hedge. Just a bit.

“Think about it,” I say. “We’ll talk more later this week.”

So I carry this book around with me all week and re-read parts of it out loud at the dinner table and pray about it.

The neat thing about Small Things with Great Love: Adventures in Loving Your Neighbor by Margot Starbuck is how easy this book is to navigate. Starbuck has organized the book in a way that customizes reading for every person that picks it up. There’s a chapter for young people and old people and for us middle people too. There’s one for introverts and extroverts and single people. There’s one for caregivers and urbanites and people in school. And there’s one for parents. Did I mention there’s one for parents? I read the one for parents—um—more than once.

At the end of each chapter appropriate to me, there is a decision ladder that tells me where to turn next for further reading. So, after I read the chapter for introverts, I am directed to turn to the chapter for women, and then after that I go to the chapter for middle-agers, and such and so-forth until I work my way through book—exploring ideas and stories for missional living geared specifically to someone like me.

Each of these chapters has great, practical ideas for engaging with a world in need. And if you are like me—easily overwhelmed by life in general—you need some ideas and stories about real people with real lives who have found ways—big and small—to meet God’s desire for those who suffer to experience loving kindness through human agents.

This book gently yet unapologetically challenges me to take a look at my life and see if I am living from a kingdom viewpoint. Margot Starbuck encourages me to make every day decisions—every day moments—count. That’s one thing we understand at The High Calling. As Starbuck says in the chapter on work: “Whether you work in an office or a church, a clinic or a school, a restaurant or an amusement park, you’ve been called to bless a world in need.”

And no matter where you are in life, you've got to start somewhere. Like maybe with a simple bowl of rice and beans.

Want to know more? Here's a short video of the author talking about Small Things with Great Love.

Image by Tim Miller. Used with permission. Post by Laura J. Boggess.

Author Name:

Laura Boggess

Community Post: It's Almost Summer. Are You Having Fun Yet?

bradleyjmoore — Tue, 22 May 2012 00:11:29 +0000

Bradley J. Moore challenges us to have a little fun this summer. He writes at his blog: "For some reason I had gotten into the bad habit of downplaying the lighter side of life, spending far too much time thinking about all of my responsibilities, my work, and the infinite number of chores and errands that must be done when I get home. If ever I tried to relax a bit, that abusive little voice in my head would tell me what a slacker I am." Read more here ...

Image by Katerina Plevkova. Used with permission. Sourced via Flickr. Post by Bradley J. Moore.

http://shrinkingthecamel.com/2012/05/21/its-almost-summer-are-you-having-fun-yet/

Author Name:

Bradley J. Moore

The Upside of Down

David Rupert — Sat, 19 May 2012 12:00:23 +0000

Unemployed? Financially stressed? Those of us who live under the High Calling understand that not everything is as it seems. God has a plan. Are you looking for it?Pick up the newspaper, listen to the talk at any coffee shop, look at the faces in the crowd, and you'll know that times are tough. It seems that nearly every industry has taken a hit, dragging investments, housing and basic security into the dark pit of uncertainty. And the personal toll has been huge. We're scared. We all know people who have been laid off, fired or whose jobs have disappeared altogether. For millions, months have now turned into years of unemployment or under-employment. Maybe this is you.

Author Name:

David Rupert

Everything Matters: Living Alone as a Cultural Act

CharSingleton — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:00:09 +0000

Editor's Note: On Fridays we're hosting a series called Everything Matters, where guests share why their particular vocation or gift is a cultural act. Each installment serves as a response to the post, Creating a High Calling Culture.

“Most people wouldn’t understand why we do this,” I said to two friends one day as we were shopping.

“Spend four hours buying food?” Jamie asked. We laughed. We already had been to the farmers market, a coffee shop, and two grocery stores.

“No, run errands together,” I said. “Most married people, especially if they have kids, wouldn’t get together with friends and go to the grocery store. And I don’t think they would understand why we do it.”

I wondered about it myself. Why is it that many Saturdays I find myself in the car driving around town with these or other single friends who live alone like I do, picking up a gift at a department store, doing the week’s shopping, or depositing a check at the credit union?

Recent census figures indicate that 28 percent of all American households, and as many as 50 percent in large metropolitan areas, now are made up of just one member. That’s 31 million of us using our dryers as a dresser, eating peanut butter out of the jar with our fingers, or leaving the door open when we are in the bathroom.

Eric Klinenberg’s book, Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, analyzes this cultural phenomenon in which a large percentage of people are living on their own for the first time in history. Just 60 years ago, only 22 percent of American adults were single and a mere four million lived alone, accounting for only nine percent of households. Today, more than 50 percent of American adults are single.

But though so many of us are doing it, living alone is something few people like to talk about. And even then, “on those rare occasions when there is a public debate about the rise of living alone, commentators tend to present it as an unmitigated social problem, a sign of narcissism, fragmentation, and a diminished public life,” Klinenberg says in his book. Living alone often is perceived as an act of anti-culture, contributing creatively and productively to oneself only.

I had some of the same concerns when I bought my house. Was I being selfish, or even self-indulgent, to choose this lifestyle? Was it a waste of money to pay all the expenses of a household for just me? Or worse, was I cutting myself off from community, isolating myself permanently? Signing the mortgage that day felt like a long-term commitment to a life of single occupancy.

At my age, most people I meet assume I am married with kids. When I tell them I am not, they look surprised. Especially when I tell them I live alone in a home I own. Then come the questions: Do I cook for myself? Am I scared to be alone? Do I shovel the snow from my own driveway?

Mostly, I think people just wonder if I am lonely.

Living alone is possible for so many people, not because of an increased sense of independence, but precisely because our increasingly urban, plugged-in culture has made us so interdependent.

In an interview on The Diane Rehm Show, Klinenberg emphasized that “living alone is different from being alone and it’s different from feeling lonely and it’s different from being isolated.” In many cases, people who live alone often are “socially overextended,” and “struggle more with avoiding the distraction of always available social activity . . . than with being disconnected,” he writes.

That’s been my experience, too. Relationships with friends take the place of a nuclear family. But instead of scrambling for time together under one roof, if I want to be with my “family,” I have to leave the house, virtually if not actually.

But it goes beyond social activity to culture-making. The time I can devote to working past the clock, volunteering at church, helping friends update their resumes, even writing this article, is not just a luxury of living alone. It’s the hallmark. The time I am not investing in a nuclear family is spent in other culturally significant ways, like sharing a meal with others.

A few weeks ago, I went to Jamie’s house for tacos. The same three of us from the shopping trip were eating together, as is our habit. I brought the tomatoes and black beans. Verray made the guacamole.

Just before I hopped in the car, I realized I was wearing my “house sweater,” the quirky one I wear only at home. I reached my arm out, preparing to take it off in exchange for a more suitable item of clothing. But then I stopped. If ever there were an occasion to wear my “house sweater” out of the house, it was this one.

It wasn’t like I was wearing it to a friend’s house. This was family.

* * * * *

The "Everything Matters" Collection

Image by Sippanont Samchai. Used with permission. Sourced via Flickr. Post by High Calling Content Editor, Charity Singleton.

Author Name:

Charity Singleton

Serving God in the Healthcare Profession: Four Reflections

Marcus Goodyear — Fri, 18 May 2012 13:29:55 +0000

Our friends at The Washington Institute for Faith, Vocation, and Culture just published a fantastic series of articles about serving God in the healthcare profession. Four healthcare professionals reflect on what it means to listen in this profession. Web editor Jay Bilsborrow writes,

How does a fallen world begin to heal? How do the shattered pieces get put back together to form a picture that is even more beautiful than it was to begin with? The answer: piece by piece. Those called of God take up their vocations.

...This month we focus on the daily work of healthcare providers. Their work perhaps best exemplifies the importance of the practice of listening. We can be grateful for the thoughtful, skillful, and compassionate care doctors, nurses, and technicians provide daily to the broad spectrum of men, women, and children in need. Indeed, from a vocational perspective, having hands that bring healing and wholeness is tremendously honorable and redemptive work in God’s world.

Read more about Healthcare Provision and the Discipline of Listening or click through directly to the four vocational reflections from healthcare professionals:

On the Auscultation of the Heart by Dr. Ryan Buchholz
Are You Listening by Dr. Curt Thompson
Listening Is Not Hearing by Eden Garber
Listening in Medicine by Dr. Larry Bergstrom

Image by Eric Montfort. Used with permission. Sourced via Flickr.

Author Name:

Marcus Goodyear

When Leaders Mess Up

Sleeping Alone

Related Reading:

Religion + Life with Elaine H. Ecklund, Part 5: International Attitudes

Community Writing Project: Summer Vacations

The High Calling of The Avengers

Books: Small Things With Great Love by Margot Starbuck

Community Post: It's Almost Summer. Are You Having Fun Yet?

The Upside of Down

Everything Matters: Living Alone as a Cultural Act

Serving God in the Healthcare Profession: Four Reflections